Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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