"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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