I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
