no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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