I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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