hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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