STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
