I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
