Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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