Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Semen is not good for contacts.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
