You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
