no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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