How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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