Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What drink are we having for lunch?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
