thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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