He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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