are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
