i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
