Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
