She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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