He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
