Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
