Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
