Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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