used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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