i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
