I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
