worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
