There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
