I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You took a bar mat shot.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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