2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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