i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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