okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
