hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
