operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
