I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
