You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
