So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
These tits shall not be calmed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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