dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
