the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
