then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
