i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
