tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
