be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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