and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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