he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
