She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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