So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
