She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
