return my video game
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
