Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
