I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
