If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
