i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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