Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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