this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
