There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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