I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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