Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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