Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
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I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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