Don't you send me to vm
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
