I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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