I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
