Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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