I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
